Various Artists - Happy New Year |
Happy New Year
Various Artists New Year's Eve. The scene opens on the street outside the apartment. One table, lying on its end, serves as the door.) MARK (carrying mock door) Pan to the padlocked door. New Year's Rocking Eve. The breaking (ROGER and MIMI try in vain to pry a padlock from the door. They appear to be happy.) MIMI How long till next year? ROGER Three and half minutes... MIMI I'm giving up my vices I'm going back Eviction or not This week's been so hot That long as I've got you I know I'll be cool I couldn't crack the love code, dear 'Til you made the lock on my heart explode It's gonna be a happy new year A happy new year (MARK enters the scene.) MARK Coast is clear You're supposed to be working Where are they? That's for midnight There isn't much time MIMI Maybe they're dressing I mean what does one wear that's apropos For a party (MAUREEN enters wearing a skintight "cat burgular" suit and carrying a bag of potato chips.) MAUREEN Chips, anyone? MARK You can take the girl out of Hicksville But you can't take the Hicksville out of the girl MAUREEN My riot got you on TV I deserve a royalty MIMI Be nice you two Or no god awful champagne (MAUREEN takes out a cellular phone and dials.) MAUREEN Don't mind if I do No luck? ROGER Bolted plywood, padlocked with a chain A total dead end MAUREEN Just like my ex(on cellular phone) Honey...? I know you're there ... Please pick up the phone Are you okay? It's not funny It's not fair How can I atone? Are you okay? I lose control Give me one more chance But I can learn to behave Let me be your slave I'll kiss your Doc Martens Let me kiss your Doc Martens Your every wish I will obey (JOANNE enters) JOANNE That might be okay Down girl Heel...stay I did a bit of research With my friends at legal aid Technically, you're squatters There's hope But just in case (JOANNE whips out...) MARK & JOANNE Rope! MARK (pointing off) We can hoist a line JOANNE To the fire escape And tie off at... MARK MARK & JOANNE That bench! MAUREEN I can't take them as chums JOANNE Start hoisting...wench (All three cross upstage and attempt to throw up the length of rope over a plank. ROGER and MIMI are laughing and holding each other.) ROGER I think I should be laughing Yet I forget And yet I still can't decide Forget how to begin I'm feeling something inside If I should hide Or make a wide open grin Last week I wanted just to disappear My life was dust But now it just may be a happy new year A happy new year wearing sunglasses, carries a bottle of champagne. ANGEL wears a (COLLINS enters with ANGEL. COLLINS, dressed in black and plastic dress and blonde wig: a small blowtorch is slung over his shoulder.) COLLINS Bond ANGEL And Pussy Galore Pussy MIMI ANGEL I was a boy scout once And a brownie 'Til some brat got scared COLLINS (to MIMI) Aha! Moneypenny MIMI Will bad champagne do? ROGER That's shaken COLLINS Pussy (COLLINS takes a swig of champagne as ANGEL grabs the blowtorch.) ANGEL Just say the word! (ANGEL turns on the blowtorch.) MIMI Two minutes left to execute our plan COLLINS Where's everyone else? ROGER Playing Spiderman MARK Ironic close up: tight On the phone machine's red light The power mysteriously comes onOnce the Boho boys are gone |