Various Artists - Gaston |
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Gaston
Various Artists Gaston: Richard White Lefou: Jesse Corti GASTON: Who does she think she is?! That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says "no" to Gaston! GASTON: Dismissed! Rejected! Publically humiliated! LEFOU: Darn right! Why, it's more than I can bear. LEFOU: More beer? GASTON: What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced. LEFOU: Who you? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together! LEFOU Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Gaston, Looking so down in the dumps. Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Gaston, even when taking your lumps. There's no man in town as admired as you, You're everyone's favorite guy. Everyone's awed and inspired by you, and it's not very hard to see why! no one's quick as Gaston, No one's slick as Gaston, no one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's. For there's no man in town half as manly, Perfect, a pure paragon! and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on. You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley, LEFOU and BEERDRINKERS No one's been like Gaston, a kingpin like Gaston, No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston. GASTON As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating! LEFOU and BEERDRINKERS My, what a guy, that Gaston! Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip hips!" Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips. No one fights like Gaston, Douses lights like Gaston, In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston. BEERDRINKER 1 THREE BLONDES For there's no one as burly and brawny. GASTON As you see I've got biceps to spare. LEFOU Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny, GASTON That's right! BEERDRINKERS And every last inch of me's covered with hair. No one hits like Gaston, OTHER BEERDRINKERS Matches wits like Gaston, LEFOU In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston. GASTON I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptoooie! ALL Ten points for Gaston! GASTON When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large. And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs so I'm roughly the size of a barge! ALL Makes those beauts like Gaston. No one shoots like Gaston, LEFOU Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston. GASTON I use antlers in all of my decorating! GROUP of BEERDRINKERS Say it again! ANOTHER GROUP of BEERDRINKERS Who's a man among men FIRST GROUP And let's say it once more. Who's that hero next door? SECOND GROUP Who's a super success? ALL Don't you know? Ask his fans and his five hangersCan't you guess? There's just one guy in town, Who's got all of it down! LEFOU And his name's GGGOh! ALL Gaston |
