Various Artists - Dentist

Dentist
Various Artists

When I was younger, just a bad little kid,
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
my mama noticed funny things I did,
like shootin' puppies with a B B gun.
That's when my mama said (What did she say?),
she said, "My boy, I think someday
I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head.
you'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay.
Your temp'rament's wrong for the priesthood
You'll be a dentist. You have a talent for causin' things pain.

Son, be a dentist. People will pay you to be inhumane.
and teaching would suit you still less.
(Here he is, folks: the leader of the plaque!
Son, be a dentist. You'll be a success.

He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good.
Watch him suck up that gas! Oh, my god!
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?
Oh that hurts! I'm not numb!)
Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come!

I am your dentist (goodness gracious!),
I am your dentist (fitting braces),
and I get off on the pain I inflict. (Really love it.)
and I enjoy the career that I picked. (Love it.)
It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted.
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid.
somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me
And though it may cause my patients distress,
'cause I'm a dentist and a success.
I know, I know, that my mama's proud of me (Oh, mama.)
Say ah! (Ah!) Say ah! (Ah!) Say ah! (Ah!) Now spit

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